The Fastest Month of My Life

Carson at 1 month

It happened with Weston and oh boy did it happen with Carson.
I woke up and all the sudden this sinker our new little love was a month old.
May went by in a blink!

Which is why it will be so perfectly be remembered as the fastest month of my life.

You often hear parents say……..
“How are they already ________ old!”
“Time sure does fly!”
“Stop growing!”
”The days are long but the years are short.”

All sappy but all so very true.

I’ve been thinking back on the last month…….
How is it possible that it flew by faster than our 1st month with Weston.
31 days, 744 hours that I can’t quite remember.
Were we in some sort of time warp?

After doing a little soul searching I believe I’ve cracked the case.
Why mamas bring their fresh new babies home and wake up the next day with a 1 month old, 6 month old……and so on.

It can be summed up by 1 word………..

SURVIVAL!!!

I can only speak for myself but the 1st month shoot the 1st few months with a newborn are rough.
Both of my boys had tummy issues which makes for very unhappy babies.
We’re still working through Carson’s unhappy tummy phase, throw a toddler into the mix and oh boy it’s an interesting ride!

Weston “Big Brother Extraordinaire”  has been great, the baby has been great……ish but with 2 it doesn’t matter how well behaved they are it’s an awful lot on your plate!  

I don’t usually handle the newborn stage with tons of grace.
Perhaps I’m the only one?

I’m not on top of things.
I have to apologize to people often “So sorry it’s taken me so long to do ______.”
A few angry UGGHHHGs slip out of my mouth late into the night after being woken up hour after hour by our adorably cute newborn. Whom I’m absolutely nuts about (just in case you’re wondering)!
Little things that normally wouldn't bother me set me off and by set me off I mean random outburst of tears. 
I walk around most of the day with my boobs out.
Sometimes I forget to brush my teeth.
Showers? Eh, I’m happy when I wet a towel and wipe my pits.
After hour 8 of trying to console an unhappy baby I have a hard time finding gratitude in the moment something I usually rock at. 

See what I’m saying? Not a lot of grace in those moments. 

I’m not one of those mamas that looks top notch daily with freshly shaven legs and a beautifully styled outfit (you know those moms we see on Instagram).
Oh gosh they’re pretty and it sure would be nice to be that awesome.
I really wish I was but NOOOOOOPE I’m not one of them and lets face it they’re most likely not one of “Them” either.

They’re just not being honest with themselves. Shhh don’t tell anyone I just said that. I don’t think they want us to know.

This is my honest…….

 

Boobs out (you just can’t see them due to the baby), 5 day dirty hair, Pjs actually I don’t even know what I’m wearing but I can promise you it’s covered in spit up and maybe a little pee, no makeup, annnnnnnd I stink! I’ll probably skip the shower and wipe my pits with a wash cloth before bed or I mean my hour of sleep before I’m awoken by our little precious. Oh and not shown in this photo is the wreck of a bed room that surrounds me. Bottles, diapers, wipes, dirty clothes, random socks decorate our room like it’s our style we’re going for. 

This is also my honest…….

The mess continues in the kitchen the laundry room and pretty much every room of our house. Usually Weston has cars and random books sprinkled all over the floor.

It actually looks like we picked up a little in this photo.

Mess is my honest……..

But again since we’re being honest here let me tell you that our cleaning lady (best investment ever) is coming today and our house will be spotless for a good hour before it looks like this again.

The newborn stage is a thick season.
It’s thick with tiredness
Thick with hard days that roll into hard weeks.
It’s thick with laundry and to do list that never get done.
Thick with doubt questing your worth as a mama, wife, friend.

But while it’s heavy with rough days it’s also dripping in love and precious moments that you want to remember forever……

The feeling of your newborn’s breath on your chest as they sleep.
The way their skin feels like butter.
How you can fit both of their tiny feet in one of your hands.
The moments of stillness just you and them while you rock them to sleep.
How they mold so perfectly to your arms and the crook of your neck as if your body was made just for them.
The days when all they want is to sleep on their mama’s chest.
The sweet grunts and coos.
The tiny socks and clothes you can’t believe they fit.
The sleepy smiles.
The way they smell.
How sometimes the only thing that can comfort them is to be held by you, their mama.

It’s not the sleepless nights, fussy days, and messy house you’ll remember.
It’s these very moments.
The ones that bring tears to your eyes when you think about them.
The ones that seem to slip out of your hands before you realize.
The ones you forget to enjoy while you’re in “Survival Mode”.

Yep, survival mode is why that 1st month zips by.
It took me a having a second baby to figure it out but I’m pretty sure I’ve cracked the case.

Weston at 1 month